:sneeerrrrk:

[burntcopper]

maybethemoonchallenged people to write first time bad sex. Because, to be honest, who the fuck's first time was ever that good? (well, mine was okay, but it wasn't earth shattering. Nothing to write home about. The fact that my mates actually walked in on us as well...)

So, I give you Dean Thomas/Seamus Finnigan.
Title : Interesting Excuse
Author : Gunbunny
Rating : it's slash. It's Harry Potter.
Summary : maybethemoon's teen first time bad sex challenge. Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan.
Disclaimer : JK Rowling would never let us do this to her characters. :stares hard at the
films: Except her canon couple, Harry and Draco.
Archive : http://kabukivice.com/underskin
Feedback : kabukivice@beeb.net

Scene set : An empty bedroom, originally meant for prefects but abandoned long since. Voices emanate from within, possibly a tad muffled. And petulant. They also bear a great resemblance to Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan of Gryffindor.

"Look, you were the one who wanted this."

"You suggested it." The one that sounds like Dean replies.

"I was... er... joking?"

"Bollocks you were. You're all hormones, Seamus."

"Just because I groped you -"

"And kept suggesting things."

"Things? What things?"

"You know exactly what things, Seamus." Dean says darkly. "Now get back over here and try not to do your impression of a startled rabbit again. You've seen it plenty of times before. And felt me up often enough."

"You've got a nice body, it's not my fault."

"...Interesting excuse. Now get your arse over here." There's a pause in sound. "Ummm. Keep doing that."

Seamus snickers. "Works every time."

"Not as much as this."

"Dean! Don't! That - hey, hands! Careful!"

"Hands? I'm getting 'hands' from the Irish octopus?"

Seamus mutters "It was a bit unexpected. And rough."

Dean sighs. "Here, I'll kiss it better."

"Okay. Hoi, that tickles!"

"Shut *up*, Seamus."

"Shutting up. Mmm." Seamus drifts off for a period of silence, then there's the sound of a zipper. "...Dean? You sure about this?"

"Don't tell me you haven't been thinking about this too."

"Okay, I won't. Except, er, wondering about how."

"I'm experimenting. Now shut up."

"Oh. Er. Wow. That's..." There's the sound of licking. "Dean?"

"Did I or did I tell you not to shut up?" Dean asks. "I'm trying to concentrate."

Seamus gulps. "Shutting up. Except for, y'know, any involuntary sounds that may be
made."

"Those are fine. Now do you want me to continue or not?"

"Yes. Please." There's more sounds of licking and tentative sucking, with some adding groaning from Seamus' end, then an "Ow! Fuck! Teeth! Leave off with the teeth! Hey, I didn't mean stop completely."

"Why do I have to have a boyfriend that could create white noise for Britain?"

"Because you fancy me?" Seamus asks. "And could you continue? Because I was liking it. As long as there's no more teeth, though."

Dean sighs. "I'll continue." There's more sucking and groaning sounds, then suddenly
there's choking sounds.

Seamus stops groaning, sounding a bit concerned. "...Now what?"

"Hair." Dean coughs. "Fucking, hell, that's foul." Some more hacking and coughing sounds. "There. It's gone."

The sucking and groaning sounds resume, the groaning escalating rather sharply to an "Ah! Fuck! Dean!"

Then there's the sounds of spitting. Dean spits again. "I'm bloody waiting a while before I try swallowing. You come like a fucking flood, Seamus."

The response is a little dazed. "Wha?" Sean pauses to regain conscious thought. "I do
not." Another pause. "Er. Can I..."

"Can you what?" Dean asks.

"There's a bit of -" Period of silence. Seamus smacks his lips hesitantly. "Funny taste."

"I can't believe you just snogged me straight after." Dean replies.

"What?" Seamus asks defensively. "I was curious."

"You're weird." Shifting noises. "Ugh. That's fucking foul." Deans says disgustedly.

"What?" Seamus asks.

"That your standard response today? I came in my pants, okay?" Seamus laughs. "It's not funny, it's embarassing. And feels terrible. I'm getting my kecks off now, I don't care if I have to go commando."

"You could just strip off and we could try it the other way round." Seamus suggests.

"That's it, you really are insane." Dean replies. "Oh, fuck it. Might as well."

END


Yes, I'm strange and evil. But I just thought. This is my first HP fic. hmmm.