child spanking/hitting
Mar. 23rd, 2003 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
burntcopperI know this is an utter minefield, everyone with their own opinions, etc. Just thought I'd post about this while I had it in my brain.
For some reason it came up with Jaq and Meg when we were at wagamama on friday. Jaq's stance, as I understood it, was that you don't hit adults for their behaviour, so why is it okay to hit kids? I'd never thought about it like that.
I have the dichotomy of thought that comes from being born and part-raised in an utterly different culture to most of the people on my friends' list and the country where I live, so I've got pretty much two warring thought patterns on certain modes of behaviour at any time, and often the one that was implanted subliminally when I was very young is often the one that elbows the other out of the way as first instinct in certain cases - normally the most inconvenient times. I'm perfectly aware of this schizoid behaviour that occasionally happens due to it - it's subliminal behaviour patterns vs. natural personality. People who know me in real life have probably heard me angst about it. Basically, I'm a fairly loud, exhibitionist, snarky person. On the other hand my subliminal commands are things like utter respect and an inability to anyone who's older or of higher status than you (age wins out every time), especially if they start pointing out your faults, even if they're wrong. You literally can't talk back. Ways of thinking about problems. Value systems. Reaction to certain moods - actual scathing contempt of people who can't control themselves or lose it. (and no, this isn't a personality thing, it's something that has to be in a society where everyone's crushed together. See Britain's 'repressed' behaviour vs. American)
Anyway. Hitting children. Sometimes I really, really want to smack bratty children. I've been known to give them gentle cuffs/taps on the ears and pillow fights. But at the same time? I've got a voice screaming in my brain that you don't touch children under any circumstances. Indonesia is a culture where children are so valued (previous mortality rates) that it's not even an issue. Violence against children in any form is just incomprehensible and goes beyond the pale. Case in point : My dad once gave my elder brother Matt a clip round the ear when he was being particularly bratty. The staff walked out. That minute. Mum spent a couple of hours persuading them to stay and begging forgiveness. Dad's name was mud for ages. I've been smacked once in memory for the same reason - utter brattiness. It shocked me so much I bolted out of the house and spent an hour shaking at my friend's house, and I couldn't talk to Dad for that whole evening.
For some reason it came up with Jaq and Meg when we were at wagamama on friday. Jaq's stance, as I understood it, was that you don't hit adults for their behaviour, so why is it okay to hit kids? I'd never thought about it like that.
I have the dichotomy of thought that comes from being born and part-raised in an utterly different culture to most of the people on my friends' list and the country where I live, so I've got pretty much two warring thought patterns on certain modes of behaviour at any time, and often the one that was implanted subliminally when I was very young is often the one that elbows the other out of the way as first instinct in certain cases - normally the most inconvenient times. I'm perfectly aware of this schizoid behaviour that occasionally happens due to it - it's subliminal behaviour patterns vs. natural personality. People who know me in real life have probably heard me angst about it. Basically, I'm a fairly loud, exhibitionist, snarky person. On the other hand my subliminal commands are things like utter respect and an inability to anyone who's older or of higher status than you (age wins out every time), especially if they start pointing out your faults, even if they're wrong. You literally can't talk back. Ways of thinking about problems. Value systems. Reaction to certain moods - actual scathing contempt of people who can't control themselves or lose it. (and no, this isn't a personality thing, it's something that has to be in a society where everyone's crushed together. See Britain's 'repressed' behaviour vs. American)
Anyway. Hitting children. Sometimes I really, really want to smack bratty children. I've been known to give them gentle cuffs/taps on the ears and pillow fights. But at the same time? I've got a voice screaming in my brain that you don't touch children under any circumstances. Indonesia is a culture where children are so valued (previous mortality rates) that it's not even an issue. Violence against children in any form is just incomprehensible and goes beyond the pale. Case in point : My dad once gave my elder brother Matt a clip round the ear when he was being particularly bratty. The staff walked out. That minute. Mum spent a couple of hours persuading them to stay and begging forgiveness. Dad's name was mud for ages. I've been smacked once in memory for the same reason - utter brattiness. It shocked me so much I bolted out of the house and spent an hour shaking at my friend's house, and I couldn't talk to Dad for that whole evening.
