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How to tell Heather has reached last tether at work due to other people's stupidity or one more fricking straw on the camel's back on the subject :
Instructions start appearing in the appropriate place* around the office.
*appropriate places are noticeboards, above the coffee machine, and the documentation folder. It hasn't reached people's foreheads or self-printed t-shirts. Yet.
You may vaguely remember the coffeepot dos and don'ts I wrote a couple of months back. Today, one more person did not replace the coffee in the cupboard and there was a half-inch of cold coffee left in the pot. Heather went to get more coffee from Chris and Mark, who basically ensure the office keeps going through photocopier repair, holding the keys to the supply cupboard, etc. Heather put on new pot. Heather pulled old instructions down from wall. Heather wrote new instructions, including 'when thou hast finished a pot, make a new one', 'when there is no more coffee/tea/sugar left, go get some from Mark and Chris' and last but not least, 'how to make coffee'. I've taught five people in the last three weeks. Five.
People noticed that I was a tad peeved, since there was the 'uh-oh, she's re-writing the instructions' comment as I attacked the keyboard. With people coming by later to say 'did you re-write the coffee instructions? I noticed the weasel threats....'
Noticed slight pattern. Last time I got peeved with one more sodding question on the post-accept process forwarded from the editors, I wrote the 'post accept guide' and gave it to them. Last time one more sodding person passed me a phone call on wednesday and friday afternoons, I wrote the 'you do want this published, right?' notice and stuck it up on the end of our desks. Continuous questions from my line manager brought out the 'Instructions for author checks'. 'Instructions for switching live' was admittedly written pre-emptively last week just in case, since am training new girl.
I just hope they never catch onto this and start winding me up specifically to produce instruction manuals.
There existed a 'how to' on author checks and switching live before. It was long. Spaced out. With step points. And objective. Therefore vague and you were constantly asking questions about basic things.
Mine? Very, very specific. Thorough. Exceedingly subjective. One side of a4. What not to do. Ever. With threats and sarcasm. And things like 'touch not the Beilsteins.' 'remember that 'change status to live' button you were told not to touch under any circumstances? you may touch it now. Go on. You know you want to.' 'Remember the mantra : Does it look pretty?'
It appears to work, since new girl is only asking opinion questions. And I haven't had any questions since on the process since from the editors on post-accept. Though she is scarily efficient and thus has been labelled pod-person.
Instructions start appearing in the appropriate place* around the office.
*appropriate places are noticeboards, above the coffee machine, and the documentation folder. It hasn't reached people's foreheads or self-printed t-shirts. Yet.
You may vaguely remember the coffeepot dos and don'ts I wrote a couple of months back. Today, one more person did not replace the coffee in the cupboard and there was a half-inch of cold coffee left in the pot. Heather went to get more coffee from Chris and Mark, who basically ensure the office keeps going through photocopier repair, holding the keys to the supply cupboard, etc. Heather put on new pot. Heather pulled old instructions down from wall. Heather wrote new instructions, including 'when thou hast finished a pot, make a new one', 'when there is no more coffee/tea/sugar left, go get some from Mark and Chris' and last but not least, 'how to make coffee'. I've taught five people in the last three weeks. Five.
People noticed that I was a tad peeved, since there was the 'uh-oh, she's re-writing the instructions' comment as I attacked the keyboard. With people coming by later to say 'did you re-write the coffee instructions? I noticed the weasel threats....'
Noticed slight pattern. Last time I got peeved with one more sodding question on the post-accept process forwarded from the editors, I wrote the 'post accept guide' and gave it to them. Last time one more sodding person passed me a phone call on wednesday and friday afternoons, I wrote the 'you do want this published, right?' notice and stuck it up on the end of our desks. Continuous questions from my line manager brought out the 'Instructions for author checks'. 'Instructions for switching live' was admittedly written pre-emptively last week just in case, since am training new girl.
I just hope they never catch onto this and start winding me up specifically to produce instruction manuals.
There existed a 'how to' on author checks and switching live before. It was long. Spaced out. With step points. And objective. Therefore vague and you were constantly asking questions about basic things.
Mine? Very, very specific. Thorough. Exceedingly subjective. One side of a4. What not to do. Ever. With threats and sarcasm. And things like 'touch not the Beilsteins.' 'remember that 'change status to live' button you were told not to touch under any circumstances? you may touch it now. Go on. You know you want to.' 'Remember the mantra : Does it look pretty?'
It appears to work, since new girl is only asking opinion questions. And I haven't had any questions since on the process since from the editors on post-accept. Though she is scarily efficient and thus has been labelled pod-person.
