:punts bunnies across gorge:

Dear Bacchus : SHUT. UP. You're a minor character who appears once in the book and you were a sodding throwaway comment ina fic. I do not want to know about your relationship with Edmund in the Golden Age. I'm sure Ivy already wrote it. Though. er. What age is Edmund in the films? Bacchus is making 'wanna seduce the little obstinate bastard' noises and I'm pondering how long I can hit him with the stick of 'not until he has the relevant hormones and has the maturity to tell you to sod off, mister!'

And now I'm off to buy bras. Bravissimo, you better have all the new stock in.