Troy, or 'the 14 day war'

[burntcopper]

Seriously. I figured it as approximately 14 days, and that only because they were forced to observe the 12-day funeral rites for Hector.

Anyway, most of the cast roundly fabulous, Brad Pitt as Achilles was boring, costuming rather pretty, battles fairly good, and, er, I'm sure Ajax didn't die that quickly. Mind you, I was groaning a tad over that 'sword of Troy' gubbins.

Brian Cox as Agamemnon - mmm. Evil bastard. We *like* evil bastards, because they give character actors a chance to chew the scenery as much as they like.
Orlando Bloom as Paris - surprisingly good, though you could say that his default mode probably *is* Paris.
Eric Bana as Hector - v. noble, loves his wife, loves his city, you root for him rather than Achilles.
Saffron Burrows as Andromache - :surreptitiously moves drool bucket into place: damn she's good. Despairing, sacrificing, sensible, noble as all hells - she and Eric Bana make a very believable royal couple.
Peter O'Toole as Priam - good, playing it as doting, possibly over-doting and too willing to trust in the soothsayers rather than sound military tactics, but rather nice bloke.
Rose Byrne as Briseis - aside from her role being over-inflated, nice girl, played the 'oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck' desperate bit well.
Sean Bean as Odysseus - :Heather appears to be sitting there with dopey grin, drool bucket preventing keyboard from getting swamped. Journal-writing spleen gangs up on brain and ovaries and hormones to get her writing again: Yes. Well. Ahem. We had voiceovers. voiceovers. And him as a tricky tactical bugger, and general, and power, and political animal and - and - and - um... I'm kind of sorry to say I didn't even notice his legs, was too caught up in loving his acting way too much.

Oh, and Brad Pitt? You can't pull off a 'stupid tragic bastard' death scene anywhere near as well as Sean Bean. Thppppbbbbt. Though it was interesting that Odysseus was written as the only person of the Kings that Achilles will actually trust and listen to.

Pop song at end? Eyyagh. Though I do love the fact that girls' loos later, usual discussion of cuteness and bitching at film's weak points, my comment was 'I don't know where they get off playing Achilles as straight.' to which another girl said 'Yes! Thankyou! Someone else gets it! Though mmm, Brad Pitt.' Me 'I don't know about that, I was too busy watching Sean Bean.' Many giggles.

SEQUELLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

Comments

[jamjar.livejournal.com]

Yes! Because we know what the sequel was! And I for one have no problem watching Sean Bean struggle home for ten years.

[juleskicks.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately. I am very, very sad, because it was pointed out to me that had they been planning to do a sequel, they probably would have casted someone younger and prettier as Odysseus. But, thought I, there's still hope, 'cuz if it's popular, no way are they gonna pass on a built in sequel.

And then there was Paris, giving the "Sword of Troy" (I'm with you on the WTF? moment of that) to a young, pretty Aeneas.

I wept. WEPT, I tell you. Because I have a sinking feeling that the only reason they put that in there was to set it up for the sequel, which will be the Aeneid. Which we all know is just a cheap knock-off of the Odyssey, and will not have Sean Bean for our troubles.

I weep. And curl up on the couch and put on Sharpe, and weep less.

[poornapoleon.livejournal.com]

I reckon nineteen days from landing on the beach to the pyre for Achilles.

1: Landing. 2: Battle before the walls of Troy. 3: Nothing much happens. 4: Trojans attack the Greeks. 5: Achilles kills Hector. 6-17: Funeral games for Hector. 18: Horse brought into Troy. 19: Pyre of Achilles.