I need...I need to dress you up like a cowgirl

[burntcopper]

(yes, that was an innaccurate filching of thete1's current sig)

The current challenge on sga_flashfic is Harlequin / Mills and Boon. You heard me right. It's producing not only some of the most crack-headed stuff, but also some of the funniest, not to mention some fucking hysterical artwork.

I suddenly have bunnies. :shifts uneasily: I doubt I'll get it done in time for the challenge finish point, especially what with not being near a computer for whole of Prime, but still, I have this urge to adapt the plot of one that burned itself onto my memory as a young and horrified teen...

White girl gets kidnapped in raid, forcibly married to unbelievably hunky indian chief, she pouts for a hell of a long time until he seduces her. (their first shag was up against a tree. I kid you not.) Blah blahblah shag cakes settles down in new life. Then there's a raid on the Indians by Daddy dearest, who took his sweet time getting round to finding his daughter, who demands to be taken back *right now*, please. Daddy is horrified by her going native and threatens to give her to his completely disgusting and lecherous mate. Hubby comes to rescue (after being terribly torn about whether she'll want to come back since she's back with her own people), kills lecherous boy in nick of time. She reveals she's preggers and didn't tell him. Hies it back to Indian village. And did I mention they had the Dances with Wolves line with the elders going 'it is only fitting, since they're both white' (chief-boy having been adopted by previous chief when found as only survivor of horrific raid by bandits on a caravan).

You may throw up now. But still, I have this terrible urge to have Rodney be kidnapped as booty and married off to the Indian chief....

Also, wish to kill Simplicity. Apprarently, their bodice-thingies are made looser than their normal clothes, because I thought I'd completely finished the outfit, up to and including putting the eyelets in for lacing, and it turns out the fucking thing needs taking in.

Comments

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

That was why it burned itself on my brain. I read it in bits at the local bookshop after school. Over a decade and I'm still traumatised. (did I mention that shag #2 is in the bloody river, and she's *still* ridiculously pouty by that point, partly because she's feeling indignant that he seduced her?)

The one I'm using is #4902, (sexy fairy and devil costumes) as making the Green Fairy from Moulin Rouge, and it was closest to the top half of the bodice/leotard Kylie wears for it. I've not put any boning in it since I need to be able to dance and move in it, but that shouldn't make any difference.

#8715 's bodice (Renaissance stuff) on the other hand, fit fine over a shirt. I used the same size as I usually do, which is US 14 - for some reason Simplicity's size logic is that instead of that being a UK large 16 - smallish 18 as you'd expect, it's a not-quite fitting UK 12-14.