on the subject of 'fuck off and die'
Jan. 8th, 2007 05:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
burntcopper:sigh: You know you've had a perception shift when you're sympathising with the characters and character behaviour we're all supposed to think is mean and bad on tv. Specifically, romance/teen drama behaviour on US tv.
If a character hopelessly lusts after/stares at/is supposedly in love with the untouchable popular character (normally a cheerleader or similar), we're supposed to sympathise with the former. The lust object is a bitch/mean sod OMG for ignoring/brushing the other person off and ignoring their feelings and protestations of everlasting love.
Ever get the feeling that the writers were in this position in high school?
However, yours truly? Now sympathises completely with the 'cheerleader' character (think of this as shorthand.). Because they're not being a bitch or mean for not considering the 'sympathetic' character's feelings. Normally - and you often *see* them doing this in the show/story - the love is professed, and the cheerleader says 'thanks, flattered, but don't return the feelings, sorry'. The problem comes when the other character continues to moon obviously. Because after that it gets creepy. And then it gets annoying. And then you really, really feel inclined to lash out verbally because ignoring them completely (trying to be polite about making it clear that their attentions are unwanted) isn't working and you fucking hate that they're practically stalking you. Standing there making sad calf eyes every time you turn around is creepy if you're the object of attention. You told them you didn't feel that way. Your feelings haven't changed. In fact, they're rocketing into actual revulsion. And so you get the '_so and so_, just fuck off and leave me alone!' reaction.
Seriously, it's got to the point of whenever I see that situation of someone mooning *obviously* after someone else in a story/song after the other person's told them there's no return of feelings that I stop reading/listening. Because the situation now fucking creeps me out. (there's a difference between the people who say this, get told 'no' and then don't mention it publically again - them you don't mind, and are normally friends with. It's the calf-eyes that creep you out.
And no, being a 'fan' is not the same as being a stalker. Most fans don't 'fall in love' - and have you ever noticed that the declaration of 'love' is made when they barely know what the person is like beyond how they look?)
I once had someone ask 'but don't you feel you should at least try to return their affections?'
The answer is categorically NO. You never asked for it, you don't want it, and emotions are not something you can paste on.
And no, 99.9% of the people I've ever met/professed a fancy for do not fall into this category. If I call you a friend to your face and enjoy your company? You are not in this category.
And on a completely different note, I now feel somewhat ill due to being fed about half a *small* slice of chocolate fudge cake. me and Morven (she's the 8th, I'm the 7th) got presented with it and after sharing it out, half of it is lurking in a celebrations tin for later in the week consumption because most of the team only managed a small slice. This is a warning to everyone who buys the cake from M&S.
If a character hopelessly lusts after/stares at/is supposedly in love with the untouchable popular character (normally a cheerleader or similar), we're supposed to sympathise with the former. The lust object is a bitch/mean sod OMG for ignoring/brushing the other person off and ignoring their feelings and protestations of everlasting love.
Ever get the feeling that the writers were in this position in high school?
However, yours truly? Now sympathises completely with the 'cheerleader' character (think of this as shorthand.). Because they're not being a bitch or mean for not considering the 'sympathetic' character's feelings. Normally - and you often *see* them doing this in the show/story - the love is professed, and the cheerleader says 'thanks, flattered, but don't return the feelings, sorry'. The problem comes when the other character continues to moon obviously. Because after that it gets creepy. And then it gets annoying. And then you really, really feel inclined to lash out verbally because ignoring them completely (trying to be polite about making it clear that their attentions are unwanted) isn't working and you fucking hate that they're practically stalking you. Standing there making sad calf eyes every time you turn around is creepy if you're the object of attention. You told them you didn't feel that way. Your feelings haven't changed. In fact, they're rocketing into actual revulsion. And so you get the '_so and so_, just fuck off and leave me alone!' reaction.
Seriously, it's got to the point of whenever I see that situation of someone mooning *obviously* after someone else in a story/song after the other person's told them there's no return of feelings that I stop reading/listening. Because the situation now fucking creeps me out. (there's a difference between the people who say this, get told 'no' and then don't mention it publically again - them you don't mind, and are normally friends with. It's the calf-eyes that creep you out.
And no, being a 'fan' is not the same as being a stalker. Most fans don't 'fall in love' - and have you ever noticed that the declaration of 'love' is made when they barely know what the person is like beyond how they look?)
I once had someone ask 'but don't you feel you should at least try to return their affections?'
The answer is categorically NO. You never asked for it, you don't want it, and emotions are not something you can paste on.
And no, 99.9% of the people I've ever met/professed a fancy for do not fall into this category. If I call you a friend to your face and enjoy your company? You are not in this category.
And on a completely different note, I now feel somewhat ill due to being fed about half a *small* slice of chocolate fudge cake. me and Morven (she's the 8th, I'm the 7th) got presented with it and after sharing it out, half of it is lurking in a celebrations tin for later in the week consumption because most of the team only managed a small slice. This is a warning to everyone who buys the cake from M&S.
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Walter
Date: 2007-01-08 06:12 pm (UTC)Re: Walter
Date: 2007-01-09 12:09 am (UTC)Which is a bit odd, since I spent the entirety of today (including whilst I was pouring venom into the keyboard a couple of lines at a time whilst waiting for things to load)in a ridiculously good mood. Seriously. From 9am onwards I've had a silly grin on my face.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-08 06:23 pm (UTC)And even when you've pointed out that they're of completely the wrong gender, they still keep mentioning it and mooning round and making comments.
Dude, if I'm throwing out a whine about not getting laid? That still doesn't mean that I'm desperate enough to fuck you, so leave me alone.
*cough* You, er, may have struck a chord.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-09 12:04 am (UTC)Had the bit where they have a jealous fit because you're having a great time and it doesn't involve them?
no subject
Date: 2007-01-08 06:35 pm (UTC)On a related note, I've noticed fascinating reactions when fangirls find out that you were popular in high school. I've had people do complete 180's when I told them I was popular (second place for Prom Queen, even) -- one actually said "oh, you were one of those girls" and stopped talking to me.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-09 12:01 am (UTC)Mind you, having been one of the weirdo loners happy in my own headspace from birth, it was a bit weird to find myself regarded as one of the 'elite clique' on the con scene, and on-line fen going 'I didn't dare talk to you because you seemed so popular'.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-09 04:29 am (UTC)It doesn't matter what type of person someone was in high school, what matters is the type of person someone is right now.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-09 12:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-09 12:50 pm (UTC)Outstanding! Only question is, which is more embarassing? ;-)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-09 12:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-08 08:13 pm (UTC)Oh, that's the one that really gets to me. You can't manufacture those feelings, no matter how 'lovely' or 'perfect for you' the other person is. You either feel it or you don't.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-09 01:25 am (UTC)On the subject of that particular person, I love him dearly as a friend, but anything more than that? Nope.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-09 01:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-09 01:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-09 01:07 pm (UTC)Something about commiserating my current shitty state of affairs *shrug*
Beyond that, who knows.
Yeah, Tors told me about the mix tape.
She also described some of the songs - he really doesn't know/get you at all, does he!
Umm, you'll hafta be specific about what Tors said you said, as several things came up & I have no idea which you might be refering to, I'm afraid.