tired

[burntcopper]

so sick of work. so very very fucking sick of it. also sick of the general apathy cloud I'm currently under which means filling in job forms is too much work. dunno if it's hormones or what, but my tether is very fucking short, while at the same time I'm just balling in and ignoring everything. Walking away if I can't be arsed to engage, which almost certainly means I'm cutting people dead or visibly switching off and I just don't fucking care if anyone notices.

Comments

[be-themoon.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I hope you feel better soon.

[peterjevans.livejournal.com]

Wow. That doesn’t sound good at all. I hope the sun returns to your skies really soon…

In the meantime, hugs of support and solidarity are heading your way, en masse, whistling like a storm of arrows.

[gmh.livejournal.com]

OK. This is something I can possibly offer a word or two on.

(This may be more than a word or two, actually.)

Stuck in a job too long, going nowhere particularly fast - in a position you can now do in your sleep most of the time?

Feeling as though you've carved a precisely-defined role in your current job - and wondering if your skills are up-to-date enough to get any job in the outside world?

Made the occasional application for another job, and either a) heard nothing of it or b) been contacted and then heard nothing of it?

That was me, this time last year; at one of the lowest ebbs I've ever been at. I let it go on far too long (seven and a half years at my previous employers!). And I kept on being the lynchpin, the reliable one, the one who could sort it out to try and keep things going (even when it might have been better for them to fall apart).

In my case, two things happened; I got medicated; and I got lucky.

I wouldn't recommend medication unless you know you really need it; in my case, I did. It helped: I finished the course of medication and didn't look back.

And the luck was there; a job of the sort that I wouldn't normally go for (I don't use Windows at work if I can help it); two interviews that went well, and an exit strategy that came good at just the right time.

I got lucky; but I had also placed myself in a position where I could be lucky; which did require a certain gritting of teeth and applying for jobs.

The day I handed in my resignation at the old job was one of the best days ever.

Of course, I wouldn't say my new job is ideal; I can't see myself doing it too long, but I'm back on the road and working for a company who do at least have some decent management.

There's a sense of progress regained; a stalemate broken - and room to hope.

I think you could probably do with a bit of luck, too; and here's hoping something turns up.

In the meanwhile, don't beat yourself up about it too hard. It's far too easy to start believing the negative self-image and thinking that things are shit because you don't really deserve any better. It's wrong, and it's a really destructive way of thinking.

Find an outlet for the negative stuff if you can. I'd recommend some form of martial sport, but anything that you can really get steamed up over should help destress.

If you can bring yourself to, see if you can talk to a friend about it. Part of the thing that helped me turn a corner last year was talking with a friend of mine who was quite seriously depressed; we both got to get the dark stuff of our backs and support the other.

You've got a whole load of friends, some of whom will happily talk about the heavy stuff, and some of whom can divert you with the frothy stuff. Don't hesitate to call on them; it is what friends are for.

[peterjevans.livejournal.com]

This man speaks much wisdom. Especially the last part.

On a purely technical note, you might very well have tried them already, but I can really recommend Monster for the jobsearch thing. You can upload your entire CV to them in one go, so you’re not endlessly dismembering it and typing it into forms, you can be as specific as you like in terms of what you want to do and where you want to do it, and then you can forget about it and let them do all the work.

Yeah, I’m pimping. But they hooked me up with my current day-job, which is so much better than the last one it’s frightening, so I figure a little pimping is justified!

[xenaclone.livejournal.com]

::HUGS::

[cidercupcakes.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I'm so sorry. ♥ ♥ ♥ Can you start small, with just filling in a couple of job forms a week, or something?

(Alternately, do you think you'd be interested in a Senior Editor position? We have UK offices, you might could work from there!)

At any rate, I'm sorry you're having to deal with that; it's a really lousy feeling and I hope it passes before long.

[endcredits.livejournal.com]

I ... hear you. *joins in with the smiting*

It's awful when it gets to that 'just can't be arsed' stage, and you just KNOW it's starting to show.

*sends cupcakes*