You had plenty money 1922

:pokes scales: this extra 5lbs is clearly due to you lying. Nothing to do with how much ridiculously good food was eaten in cornwall. Especially the thunder and lightning cream teas.

Anyhoo : Kernow was medium warm with quite a few showers. Not really sitting on the beach weather, though me and Meg did manage to get somewhat soaked from the waist down when paddling and getting hypothermia. Visited several gardens (where it was guaranteed that yours truly would wander down any overgrown path or path that led to water - Jen is convinced that I was an otter in a past life), accidentally fell into superdrug and animal a lot (a regular cry was 'we've lost Heather again!'), thoroughly tested the waterproof capabilities of the non-waterproof version of no.7 mascara by getting smacked in the face with large quantities of seawater when crossing back from St. Mawes whilst getting laughed at by the ferry men, picked up a lot of sea glass, ate disgustingly well, and resisted the large quantities of very shiny jewellery. And watched a lot of one-sided conversations between Jen and seagulls. Taking several moments to mentally translate whatever Cornish placename Meg was mangling this time, as well as having to translate whatever she mangled for the ears of poor train conductors and other lifeforms. Jen having a nasty habit of taking photos of me gurning.

Oh, and in Bistro de la Mer, came across the unheard-of question in a British restaurant of 'do you have non-alcoholic beer?' from a German tourist. Mostly because if you don't want alcohol in the UK, you ask for a soft drink rather than a foul-tasting substitute.

Also: Pierce Brosnan, repaint your house. That shade of green is really bloody ugly and your house can be seen by everyone in the bay.

Things to piss yourself laughing to : Rob Brydon being terribly, terribly adorable on I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. (and somewhat scary when he puts on an accent - he doesn't sound like himself at all so you think it's part of a recording) Being the only person in the room to know what Cushy Butterfield is supposed to sound like. Paul Bettany and Brian Helgeland on the A Knight's Tale commentary. Some Like It Hot in general because it is just that fabulous. (and having finally watched Bringing Up Baby, that's a scarily dead-on impression of Cary Grant, Mr. Curtis)

in other news, does anyone know how to remove nail polish from cotton knit? Have already applied nail polish remover - that's taken off a tiny bit but it appears to have sunk into the fibers so looks more like an ink stain. bright blue nail polish. yellow dress. HELP.